


Carry On: The Non-Chuck Shurley Ending

by siriuslyelmo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Castiel (Supernatural), Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Brotherly Love, Call backs to previous episodes, Dark moment, Dean Winchester Gives Oral Sex, Domesticity in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Eileen Leahy Lives, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Episode: s15e20 Carry On - Barn Scene, Fix-It, Fluff in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Grammar is my arch-nemesis, Jack is God, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Mention of Sam and Eileen relationship, Not Beta Read, Post-Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Rowena babysitting Jack, Rusty rebar, Sexy time in Baby, Spoilers for Episode: s15e20 Carry On, They do it on Baby's backseat, Top Dean Winchester, Vamp-mimes, mention of Eileen Leahy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:41:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27893224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriuslyelmo/pseuds/siriuslyelmo
Summary: It was a peaceful life for the brothers Winchester after they defeated God, Chuck, but there was more than meets the eye.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, mentioned Sam Winchester/Eileen Leahy - Relationship
Comments: 11
Kudos: 49





	1. Ordinary Life

**Author's Note:**

> So, as we know it, the finale for Supernatural was an insult for what fifteen years had done to the story. I blame the network for this. So, I decided to make my own fix-it story for what happened for our beloved Team Free Will, that partly inspired by Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 film.
> 
> This is probably not the ideal ending for the show as well, but at least I tried not to take everything back to square one.
> 
> I hope you like this!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Chuck was defeated, the Winchester brothers lived their lives in an ordinary way inside the Men of Letters bunker. Until something came up one day.

The man woke up right after the alarm on his nightstand rang. Eight in the morning. He tapped the top of the alarm to shut it off, and rolled to his back before he pushed himself to sit up on his side of the bed, practically providing a vacant spot on his side. He stretched and looked around to find his bedroom was just as messy as it was when he went to sleep last night. His jeans hung on the half-opened drawer, and there were a camouflage shirt and a flannel shirt thrown carelessly on the green chair. Moreover, there were beer bottles spread around all over available tables and shelves.

A soft bark from a massive ball of fur suddenly filled the room, then on the next second, the creature jumped to bed and greeted the human that was still sleepy in his position. The man instantly wrapped the dog in an embracing hug. He swayed him, like someone who missed his dog dearly after years of being separated. There was a desperation and longing in his gestures while wrapping the pup in his arms. 

His body language betrayed his cheerful voice.

After a few moments, he finally got up from his bed and put on the oversized grey robe before shuffling to the kitchen. The kitchen was already active when the man walked in with his dog, that answered to the name Miracle, followed closely, the smell of fried bacon filled the air, and there were sounds of someone moving about in there. It was his little brother who was busy on the stove, cooking and preparing breakfast. Something that came unusually for him, since the little brother was hardly a man of the kitchen. But, probably everything changed when Eileen came into his life, and she seemed fond of working on new recipes.

After some quick passing-by comments, that hardly mentioned the whereabouts of Eileen and Cas, the brothers continued on their morning routine. 

The man in grey robe returned to his room to brush his teeth and get dressed. Before he walked out, he threw the grey robe carelessly to a chair, a different one than the green two-seater chair that still had his shirts on it. Then he gave the bed an equal careless treatment, by throwing the blanket over the mattress, and left it without even tucked it in. There was also a pizza box still sitting on the coffee table, next to the green chair. He gave a quick look to his room, that looked even _messier_ than before (if that even possible) before he closed the door and walked away.

According to the agreement that he had with his brother when one cooks then the other should do the dishes, then it would be on his next to-do list of the day, washing the dishes. Of course, as a food enthusiast, he couldn't let _any_ food go to waste, so whenever he found leftovers, no matter how small, he'd give it to the dog. 

After all house chores were done, he went to start the real work. The time was ten in the morning. 

He sat in the library, on one of the tables, and opened his laptop, with his faithful pup stationed next to him. The laptop was showing several tabs from the news portal all around the country, and some tabs were recreational. At the moment, he was also reading folklores from other countries and cultures (he just learnt that there was a belief in Indonesia, that when someone died, their spirit would still be around with their family for the next _forty_ days), new recipes, dog care forums, and …

He could feel his heart skipped a beat when he saw it. He was quite sure that it also is shown in his expression. He might have found it today, of all days. _His destiny._

It felt like a time slip, everything moved so fast from the bunker to the road. Suddenly came the familiar roar of the engine from the Chevy Impala that showed that the brothers were on their way to whatever the older brother had found on his research. 

The beast of a car came to a halt on the side road. After the engine was killed, the brothers came out from each side of the vehicle. The look on the big brother's face could only be described as yearning, if not _pining_. He was in awe of whatever it was in front of him, and when he talked, his voice started to crack, out of excitement or contentment, or maybe both. The emotions clearly filled his insides, that he needed extra effort to process it.

"Are you crying?" his little brother asked lightly. He might have expected that the big brother would be emotional when this moment happened, but he still didn't see it coming.

Of course, he would deny crying, even though he could feel the corners of his eyes started to get damp as he saw the sight before him. 

Dabb's pie fair. 

Pie trucks filled the road, and there were tables where patrons could sit and enjoy the pies. It probably was one of the best views he has ever seen for the past twenty years. "You're crying. I'm gonna go get some, uh-"

"Pie," the little brother finished what the other man couldn't.

"I'm gonna get some damn pie."

It was like on flash-forward, the man in dark navy jacket beelined to the nearest pie stand and got himself some pie to devour. After a few minutes of trucks hopping, he returned to his little brother carrying a box filled with six slices of pie. That, of course, earned a slightly worried look from his little brother. Although this time, there was more than that, and it wasn't judgemental, like usual.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked. Based on the years of living with his brother, this would be the time for him to get some sassy feedback about cholesterol, blood pressure, age, or anything else on the field.

"Nothing. I'm fine," even from the way the little brother said it, it was evident that he was _nothing_ of the words that came out from his mouth.

"No, come on. I know that face," the elder brother frowned, he was familiar with the gestures and tone of voice whenever something was bothering his little brother's mind. "That's uh, that's Sad Sam face."

"I'm not Sad Sam."

The sass made an appearance.

"I'm just … I'm thinking about Cas, you know? Jack. if they could be here."

_Cas._

It was clearly shown that the mention of the angel's name indeed did something to the man with a box of pies. The best friend. The someone he trusted and cared for ever since the angel in a trench coat full-on rebelled on Heaven. An act that got him outcast to the point that he was stripped down from the Heavenly powers. Then with his own free will, the angel finally survived on whatever grace he had left to be on his human's side, as well as the brother.

The one companion that could always be relied on, through thick and thin.

The expression on the man's face, the big brother's face, was shown that there was something more in the topic of the angel. Something that should be sounded, but didn't. Why didn't he say anything about it? 

Why _couldn't_ he?

"Yeah. yeah, I think about them too."

That wasn't it. There was _more_.

"You know what? That pain's not gonna go away. But, if we don't keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing."

It probably was one of the most painful things, to say something that wasn't meant. To say lighter things, where there were obviously more to it. 

There was more on the sacrifice. The big brother knew that there was more than just a sacrifice, and it was vital. But he still didn't, _couldn't_ say anything about it. It was strange that he didn't say anything at all to his little brother, one of the very few people that he could trust with anything, even his own life.

His mouth kept on talking about lifting up the weird air that was currently surrounding him and his brother, ("So, quit being a friggin' Eeyore, and let's get into this!"), but his gestures, once again, betrayed what he was talking about. That _wasn't_ what he had in mind entirely.

Once he finished his words, his little brother pushed one of the pie slices to his face and chuckled. It was clearly some sort of blast from the past, where he and his little brother used to prank each other when they first started out their hunting journey together, in search of their father back then.

"I have wanted to do that for a very long time," his little brother cheerfully said. "Oh, you're right, I do feel better."

That was a joke that the big brother could take, he probably had it coming anyway since he brought the massive box of pies. However, it still felt weird that this turn of emotions happened in mere seconds. After his little brother was all so thoughtful while mentioning their best friend and son made the sacrifice that occurred five years ago. Out of nowhere.

It was almost like there was an invisible switch that could be used by someone in the higher power to turn their emotions from mellow to chirpy in a snap of fingers. 

And it felt so wrong.


	2. Supernatural

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peace surely didn't last long for the brothers, they found a case that not only took them back down memory lane, but also might hold something bigger.

“Throat has torn out, the whole nine. Some kind of cannibal crap.”

“And the kids?”

“Taken”

“What about the mum?”

“They left her, but they ripped out her tongue.”

“Any ideas what these guys looked like?

“Kinda. She drew this.”

The man, who now dressed in suits - that curiously resembled an outfit that was once worn by the angel, Castiel - looked at the illustration handed by the sergeant in duty. A face that looked like it was painted to a skull shape, or a mime, that seemed highly familiar and most probably could be found in his father’s journal. However, the fact that this case could be called back all the way to their father’s journal, the very one that helped them to survive ages ago, wasn’t the detail that should be caught attention. 

The sergeant was called by his team, and she excused herself. He smiled as a response to her, but after she returned inside the house, the smile on his face was still visible. It was also no longer of politeness, more to an irony.

There was a certain pang of pain showed on his face, after hearing that the victim got her tongue ripped out, like a symbolism on what happened at the pie fair. Completely powerless to say anything that could be said.

“I recognise that face,” he finally told his little brother.

“Yeah, me too,” came the reply as the little brother lead them to walk away from the crime scene.

Next thing that happened was both brothers, and their faithful Impala, gathered under a tree. A map was spread on the hood, as well as their father’s journal. It was a sight that hasn’t been seen for a while, probably since they found the Men of Letters Bunker. There was a sense of nostalgia in the view, two brothers with their car on a case, doing a hunt in an old school way. But there was something that definitely missing from the sight. 

Something, or more like _someone_ in a trench coat and another person in a millennial outfit.

The big brother was consulting the journal. Even though he might memorise every page, but after many years having the book stayed in the Impala’s boot might weaken his memory. He flipped the pages to find the entries that he was looking for and finally found it—a case with a mime mask that dated back to _1986_. Around three years since the brothers lost their mother, and their father started the cursed hunter’s life. It was a case along Route 77, the information was accompanied by a skull face drawing made by one of the victims.

“Kids were taken. The adults that weren’t drained had their-”

“Tongues ripped out.”

There it was again. _Tongues ripped out._ The more it was mentioned, the more it felt like it was a foreshadowing, a sign that should need more attention than what the brothers were currently working on. That there was still a grand plan of something that was presently brewing as they lived their peaceful life. The reason behind the lack of saying what had happened in their lives

“You know what this is? Mimes. Evil mimes.”

The so-done expression that was shown on the little brother’s face had said enough of his unsaid opinion. “Yeah, or vampires.”

“Vamp-mimes. Son of a bitch.”

Just like usual, the big brother could always found the perfect time to crack a joke in their serious moments.

“Alright,” the look on the little brother was of someone who’d willing to leave his sibling under a tree in the middle of nowhere just so he could never hear that joke again. 

The two brothers then continued to process the information from the sergeant and their father’s journal to predict where the vamp-mimes would go next. Also, the pattern of families that they would target. Then they planned out a way to outsmart the vamp-mimes.

Then it was night time already.

A suspicious van pulled over in front of a house, just as the two brothers suspected. Then from inside the truck, two people wearing mime masks stepped out and looked menacingly into the house. Or _maybe_ that was the look they went for, none of the brothers could see clearly behind the masks. 

The one that was closer to the entrance door started to step in, and that was the moment the big brother decided to take action, jumped on the masked man and slashed the head off with the machete in his hands.

As for the second vamp-mime, his little brother aimed the gun for the leg and forehead. Critical, but not deadly yet for vampires.

Time for some interrogation.

The big brother stepped up to tear the mask off their prisoner, then he slapped the face underneath it. “Hey. Hey there, Sleepy.”

It was a man, probably younger than both brothers, tried to gain his consciousness from what just hit him in the head, or forehead in his matter. The young vampire groaned and asked, “What’d you hit me with?”

“It was a bullet,” the younger brother, who was responsible for the shot, spoke, “soaked in dead man’s blood.”

It wasn’t an immense interrogation. The brothers were only asking the whereabouts of the children from the case they found, and whatever answer the vamp-mime would give, he would end up dead anyway. At this point, it would be the vampire’s call. Whether he would be dead from the big brother’s machete, fast and clean, no muss and no fuss, by giving him the straight answer. Or he could refuse to provide them with answers and suffered from the little brother’s pocket knife, where he would keep sawing and sawing to get the head off. It was no threat when the younger hunter said that the vampire would feel every muscle and every tendon being cut— _hours_ of feeling that, actually.

It would get worsened for the vampire if the children were dead. The older hunter had emphasised to the creature sitting on a tree trunk before him that his little brother would do the beheading using a _spoon_. 

Which probably inspired by the Sherriff of Nottingham in _Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves_ , who threatened Robin of Locksley that he would cut his heart out with a spoon.

Luckily for the vamp-mime, the children were still alive, so spoons could be put aside. However, though, they were with the nest that was ready to raise them with healthy and nutritional food, just so the vampires could feed on them whenever they needed it.

After the prisoner gave out the location of the barn, both brothers quickly made their way to the area, with the Impala that now seemed ten times dirtier than before. Even though it had only been two days since the pie fair.

When they arrived at the barn, they went on to their usual procedures. 

The big brother opened the boot of the Impala, there was a quick faint of change of expression on his face when he saw what was inside. It was from the sight of a ruffled duffle bag that looked like a tan trench coat at first glance. It was something that completely skipped his memory, apparently, since the brothers haven’t used that duffle bag in a while. He then continued to open the compartment under the boot that revealed a deadly arsenal for monsters of any kind. From shotguns, machete, grenade launcher, all that you could dream of.

Even a _shuriken_.

Which unfortunately won’t help much in this case.

After each man took a machete that would help behead vampires and a gun for support, they headed into the barn. It was eerie on the inside, empty with stacks of hay placed here and there, along with farming pieces of equipment that could hurt anyone who didn’t use it properly. It was curious why vampires, or vamp-mimes, would make a nest in this place. 

With his torch and gun at the ready, the big brother led their investigation further into the barn, until they found a sort of storage room with a closed door. Not to took any possible risks that might occur, the big brother signed that he would open the door. When the younger brother was ready to cover, he pushed the door open. 

There they were—the missing children. Two boys, small and scared, just like the hunter brothers when they were little when they had to escape from their burnt house almost forty years ago. 

Of all possibilities of children that could be taken, the vamp-mimes chose two brothers, on a case where someone got their tongue ripped off. The more symbolisms that were found, the more there was a possibility that this case was just a backdoor to something bigger. Which should be looked on by the brothers, before it was too late for them. Or the world. Or even the universe.

“Stay behind us. We’re gonna keep you safe.”

Unfortunately, just as they turned around, the rest of the vamp-mimes pack were there, waiting for them. It was a trap. As soon as he saw them, the big brother told the kids to run out from the barn to safety, as he promised, while he and his brother fought the vamps. There were four of them, two for each brother. Shouldn’t be a big deal.

They fought more than these. They fought practically half of the undead residents of a public cemetery when Chuck went ballistic and claimed that it was the end for them before he killed Jack. Four vampires shouldn’t be a fuss for them.

They were the fucking _Winchesters_.

It was a fight that he and his brother would be familiar with; the dodging, the attacks, the swing of the machete to the head. In a short time, both of them had each downed two vamp-mimes, with two left to fight. Which should be like a walk in the park. 

But the park apparently had a downhill from there. The largest vampire pounced down the younger brother and knocked him unconscious, then brought the older brother down to the ground while he was fighting the other vamp-mimes. He was pinned to the ground by their force, something that was odd since he usually could take at least one vampire with his mortal strength.

Then came light footsteps approaching them. As the older hunter looked up to the figure standing before him, it could be seen that he tried to roll his memory of faces he met throughout the years of his life. Until one of them matches the face that looked down to him.

“Well, I know you,” he said while still trying to remember, then it hit him. “Jenny.”

It was almost fascinating how he could remember that, up to the _name_ , of all faces and cases that they encounter for the past fifteen years. But somehow, the big brother did, the face popped up in his brain for a moment. A quick flash that he couldn’t even recall what happened before _nor_ after.

“Hi, Dean.”

The two vamp-mimes brought him up to his feet, and that was the time he saw his brother started to awaken while trying to reach for his machete behind Jenny. The big brother realised that he had to buy time, then he decided to do just like with other cases, he tried to break the ice. 

“You know, we tried to kill each other back in the day. Yeah, this is so weird. It’s like running into somebody in high school, you know? Somebody you don’t want to see.”

No response from any of the vamp-mimes. Not even Jenny.

“Well, you look good. You do. I mean, a little dead, but, uh, good. So, uh, you like the big boss or something?”

“No,” she finally replied. “I just called dibs,” she answered before hissing and bared her fangs widely.

It might be on cue, a _perfect_ cue, since that was the time when the younger hunter decided to get up and beheaded Jenny. Practically ended up the short and weird reunion between the hunters and the long lost prey, that they had forgotten many years ago.

Jenny’s demise caught the two vamp-mimes off guard that the hunter in their hands could easily break free and attacked them. Soon, the four of them - two hunters and two vampires - were back in a chaotic fight between mortals and supernatural entities. Punches, kicks, shovings, and every means to hurt were made between them.

The fight got on menacingly until at one point the big brother was thrown by the larger vampire, and at the same time, his little brother managed to behead the other one. He tried to found his standing before returning in the fight, ran towards the vampire in means to push him down. 

Alas, the vampire was too large, and he was pushed back instead, nastily. 

To huge rebar that poked out on one of the wooden posts inside the barn.


	3. The (Not So) Famous Final Scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean learnt that the future might not be very bright, and utterly lonely, for him.

"FUCK!"

Dean's hands shot up to his head as it happened. He could feel the pocket watch was hanging from his grip next to his jaw, but he couldn't care about that now. Not when he was watching himself  _ impaled _ fatally in a milk run kind of case, and a lightweight one on top of it! 

What  _ fuckery _ was this that he saw? 

Fortunately for the Dean in front of him, Sam was in time to slash his machete on the vampire's neck and sent the head flying to the floor before he could injure Dean even worse. 

It was  _ sickening _ , to see yourself hanging from the floor, supported by thick rebar that went from your back into your front. You were still alive, yet you couldn't do anything without having yourself dying slowly with every move that you made. 

Dean felt sick, he was ready to throw up at any time at sight in front of him, but he just couldn't take his eyes away. It was utterly horrific to feel like this.

"Alright, let's go find those kids. Get them out of here."

Moreover, Sammy seemed didn't realise on how his brother was standing up now. His little brother still acted as if they just finished a case and saved people, like the usual, and they were ready to close the case by returning the kids to their parents. Dean knew as he kept on watching the vision before him, that this was going to break his brother's heart as soon as he found out. 

"Sam," the impaled Dean started, "I, um, I don't think I'm going anywhere," he might still be in shock since he can speak so casually with that fatal injury.

"What? What are you talking about?"

_ Oh, fuck, this is gonna be bad for Sammy. _

"There's something in my-something in my back."

It really was like watching a cruel comedy that someone made significantly to hurt you. Dean could feel his knees weakened as he stepped back carelessly and bumped his back on the barn wall. He slowly fell to the floor as he watched how the impaled Dean said that the rebar was something that held him together. He let out a bark of laughter when he heard that. That was probably the similar thing Lee said to him when he stabbed him with a billiard cue not a long time ago. Before Lee told him to wait while he prepared himself to welcome death.

Would this be the end of Dean Winchester?

"Okay, I'll call for help. I'll get first aid kit," Sam took out his phone and ready to call someone.

"Sam, Sam. Stay wi-stay with me."

The more Dean watched from there, the more violent the headache and sick he felt. He really couldn't believe that  _ that _ would be the end of his line. A simple vampire case, where the vampires didn't even look intelligent, and he got accidentally impaled on rusty rebar? Would he die of  _ tetanus _ ? 

Or maybe not it, since it would only be in the count of minutes since he was impaled to his death. 

But, still, he wouldn't accept that this case would be his last and with  _ that _ ending for him. Didn't he deserve more? After everything that he and his brother had gone through in this life. After everything that they have done to save everyone, and the world,  _ the universe _ even? 

After everyone that they found as their family, that surely would love them for who they are.

Dean didn't even realise that he finally managed to distract his view from the odd film that was currently still playing in front of him. It was more to the fact that his vision started to blur because of the tears that currently pooled in his eyes. As he watched himself gave his little brother a goodbye speech, Dean knew that the tears that were currently falling to his face were of anger, and of fear. 

It probably the same fear that Dean in this whatever universe was feeling. The fear that his life - the glorious life that he lived on as the hunter that was known in Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, and every plane of existence between them - was cut short by a stupid accident. That the only person was there to keep him calm, or probably he could talk to before his final breath claimed him, was his brother. 

That he would die alone, unexpected, suffered. Afraid.

Dean couldn't help to wonder if this version of him ever had happiness? Was he happy living in the bunker, just with Sam and Miracle? That based on the morning that he saw, there was a possibility that there was no Cas or Eileen in their life, not even Jack. 

Was the final case that he was working on really was a symbolism of everything that would happen in that life, that  _ soon _ to be his life? The victims with their tongues ripped out were symbolism that Dean and Sam in this world weren't meant to talk about anything that actually bothered them?

Sam never mentioned Eileen, never even said how or where she was. Then Dean couldn't talk about Cas to Sam. He didn't even tell Sam how Cas sacrificed himself for Dean. How there was more than sacrifice that Cas did for Dean, and it was huge in  _ every _ sense.

What had happened to them in this life? 

The more of the goodbye speech that he heard faintly, the more questions Dean had in his head. But he didn't know where to ask. He didn't even know what is this nightmare that was currently happening in front of him right now, and why did he felt so powerless watching it? 

At the same time, Dean might actually know the answer for every question that he head, and it haunted him from the back of his mind. The clear answer that he didn't dare to give a proper thought about it, because he feared it. 

Because he would  _ refuse _ it. 

He would refuse to have whatever that happened before his eyes as his future. The future that only consists of him and his brother, and Dean was sure Sam wouldn't like this future as well. Especially that they never talked about Eileen after the Thanos treatment from Chuck.

"I love you so much, my baby brother."

Dean scoffed loudly when he heard that, the fact that this clusterfuck future had one thing finally correct somehow came up as an  _ insult _ to him. Not that he didn't love Sam, no, but the fact that he could finally say something that was based on his emotions and feelings, it was already apparent. Then he said it right after he had his final breath, at the very end.

He wiped his tears that had poured heavily even more now, then he took a deep breath and braved himself to turned the time switch to see what came after that. To his surprise, the switch could only be turned for one more day. So, it  _ really _ would be his end.

Dean could feel his throat choked up again at the thought of his last day of living. He always talked about welcoming death in every way possible ever since he started out the life of a hunter. He had thought that he would die out with a bang. But after he met people that he loved as a family for the past years, maybe Dean could fight more for his life, so he could die peacefully after experiencing happiness, and all. 

Maybe Dean could be happy with his family; Sam, Cas, and Jack. They would grow old together (perhaps not Cas and Jack), then he could die as a fulfilled man. 

Throughout his life, Dean even had experienced death himself many times, from various causes, and most were because of Gabriel. 

But somehow, this was different. Now that Dean knew that all this time he could return back to life because Chuck commanded it. Now, after Chuck couldn't control their lives anymore, even in death, he wasn't ready. This was not supposed to be how he ended.

Especially if he had to go this way, and without having to say anything to Cas.

He was quite sure that Cas would return to him, somehow. Cas always did, even when Dean had lost all hope on it, Cas would still be returned to him, with Jack's aid.

Dean couldn't help to think that maybe Jack could help Cas out from The Empty like before. Then somehow he didn't get to ask that from Jack when they were finished with Chuck. Nor even Sam asked for Eileen. 

It was stupid of them, he admitted it, and that was why Sam was nose-deep with the spellbooks in the library. Looking for anything that could help them communicate with Jack and asked him about Cas and Eileen.

Dean let the pocket watch dropped from his hand, as the vision kept on going and showed him how Sam finally pulled him off the rebar and took him back to the bunker for a funeral. A sad and  _ lonely _ funeral with only Sam and the tan coloured dog, Miracle. Not even Jody and the girls, or Garth and his family were attending. 

Not even Rowena made an appearance from Hell.

What kind of future was this? 

Dean leant back to the wall as he brought his knees up to his chest and head in his hands. Crying, along with Sam who was now watching his body burnt slowly on the pyre. Dean remembered the last time he was in this position, crying, was for the loss of the man he loved, but this time it was for himself. It was for what was waiting for him in the future that he was afraid will come to claim him.

That Chuck still had a final act in his sleeve for Dean, and it would cost him his life.


	4. Brothers in Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Sam comparing the futures that they saw from Chuck's pocket watch, that neither of those had Cas nor Eileen in them

Dean didn't know how long he sat in his room, in despair and fear. He didn't even realise that he passed out, probably due to mental exhaustion from the devastating future that he saw. He then realised that he was returned to reality when he heard Sam's voice above him, shouting his name in panic.

_"Dean!"_

He then opened his eyes and found himself was actually lying unconscious on the floor, his room. He was no longer in that darned barn.

"Dean, what happened? Are you okay?"

Clearly, he _wasn't_ okay, since he could still feel his face was wet of his tears, but Sam probably tried not to mention it to him. Dean pushed himself off the floor and sat up, with Sam followed and sit in front of him, still had that worried expression on his face. "I-I'm okay. I guess."

As he wiped his face with the sleeve of his henley, Dean could see Sam was eyeing him closely, probably wondered what happened to him. Dean was also thankful that Sam didn't push him to immediately tell what happened. He could probably feel that what caused Dean to passed out in his room was beyond his emotional capacity.

Dean took his time to calmed himself, before finally showed Sam the pocket watch, that was squeezed under him when he fainted. "I, uh I found this in Baby this morning when I washed her."

To his surprise, or probably _not_ too surprised, the expression on Sam's face when he was shown the pocket watch was of familiarity. Sam took the watch from Dean's hand and eyed it closely, "What was it doing there? I thought Chuck destroyed it?"

"Well, apparently not," Dean chuckled and took it back from Sam and put it on the floor between them. "You know about this thing?"

This time, there was a hint of trauma on Sam's face when he started to talk about the watch, "Chuck used that to show me the future. You remember when he got Eileen and me at that casino, then you and Cas came with that ball that I had to crushed, but I didn't."

"Y-yeah," Dean replied softly, tried to put aside the heartache that he felt at the mention of Cas. Especially _that_ day, he remembered so well what happened on that day between him and Cas.

"Before you and Cas came, Chuck used that watch for me to see the future, and that was why I couldn't smash the ball to kill Chuck," Sam answered and looked away from the watch in front of him.

"What did you see?"

This time it was Sam who chuckled, a bitter one. "Basically? _Everybody_ died; Donna, the girls, Eileen, all of our remaining friends. You-you buried Cas in a Ma'lak Box because he went insane after taking up the Mark of Cain. Then at the end of all things, apparently, we both were turned into vampires, then Jody and Bobby killed us. Well, you killed Jody before Bobby killed you."

The story had Dean even more depressed, he didn't know which one was worse. The one he saw or the one Sam had. Also, the fact that the future Sam visioned was actually what would happen if they killed Chuck then and there. Cas did take the Mark of Cain for them to be able to kill Chuck. If they made it back then, Cas would go insane, and Dean had to bury him in the Ma'lak Box. 

So, the future that they had with Chuck alive was already different. Cas was already in another state than being buried in a Ma'lak Box. Now, they might have lived a distant future from that one as well.

"What about the one you saw, Dean?"

Sam's question brought Dean back to the present time, in his room. He cleared his throat before answering his little brother. "Mine had, uh, mine had us living after Chuck. Then we found a case, something from Dad's old book, vampires with mime masks, and, uh, we went. There was a familiar face, Jenny, do you remember her?"

"Who?"

Again, Dean chuckled at his brother's reply, "Yeah, thought so. Anyway, the case went downhill and ... I died."

" _What?_ Did the vamps got you?"

"No, you'd be surprised," Dean scoffed, "by a rusty rebar poking out on a mast."

"What the _fuck_?"

This time it was a bark of laughter that came out from Dean's mouth, "I know, right? After all the things we've gone through. Lucifer, leviathans, Darkness, British Men of Letters, God, _everything_ ... I was killed by simple rebar. In a barn, only with you by my side. No Cas, no Jack, no Jody. Not that I'm not glad you were there, mind you, it was just so out of place. Even at the funeral, there were only you and Miracle, you remember, the dog I found after the Chuck snap?"

"Oh, yeah, that tan dog you put on the backseat of Baby. Also, I get that it was weird that your death was so lonely. But, _that_ was Chuck's ending, Dean, it wasn't ours. Everything that came up from that watch is Chuck's work," Sam took the watch from the floor. "When I had this, everything that was shown, nothing-there was no happiness there, Dean. No Cas, no Eileen, no Jack, _none_ of the people we love. Our family. It couldn't be like that, especially now we've downgraded Chuck, and Jack was still alive. We also might have a shot with Eileen and Cas."

"There was no Cas, Sammy. In my future, there was no Cas," Dean lifted up his face and smiled to his brother. "Cas didn't get buried in a Ma'lak Box. He actually died, The Empty took him. And I couldn't do anything to save him, Sam. I couldn't, I-I didn't do anything. I just sat there on the floor and watch him get taken. I was so _fucking useless_ for him!"

"Whoa, whoa, Dean, are you okay?" Sam placed a hand on his big brother's shaking shoulder, "Look, if you want to tell me anything, I'm here, okay? Anything, Dean, _anything_ at all."

He heard it, the emphasising on "anything". Should Dean tell his brother about Cas? How he had been pining for the angel for _many_ years, and how Cas actually had the same feelings for him? How they both were just too stupid to realise it. 

Maybe it was about time to tell him. Dean took a deep breath before he started. 

"When people got Thanos-snapped by Chuck, you and Jack went to save people from the other universe. While Cas and I-we went to Billie's place and tried to have her stopped the killings, remember?" he looked up to Sam, who nodded without saying anything. He continued, "Well, the plan went bust. Turned out it wasn't Billie in the first place, it was Chuck. But she was already pissed that I hurt her with her scythe. That apparently was a lethal wound for her. So, instead of us confronting Billie, we had her _chased_ us to the bunker as the last thing that she would do before she bites the dust."

"She put a spell on me, something that hurt my heart from the inside, and Cas helped me. He took me to the dungeon, 7B, and he put a spell on the door that could stop Billie, but only temporary, I guess. We were trapped, there was no way out from that room. I know-I know that once Billie got through, Cas would step in to _protect_ me, and he would get killed by Billie, then she'd come for me. Ended me."

Once again, Dean stopped, waiting for Sam to comment. Or asked anything. But his little brother was still quiet, so he took another breath before carrying on with his story.

"Then Cas suddenly thought that being trapped in the bunker's dungeon was the _perfect_ time for him to remember something important," Dean chuckled as he could feel his eyes were misty again. "He made a deal, did you know that?"

"What? When?" 

The surprise in Sam's voice and expression was an answer enough for Dean to assume that Sam really knew nothing about Cas' deal with The Empty.

Dean sniffled, the thought of Cas yet made another life-costing deal and didn't tell him was still hurt to recall. "It was when Jack was dying, or dead already, when you called Lily Sunder to come over. Cas made an exchange deal since The Empty wanted to get a hold on Jack. Him for Jack. Being a sonuvabitch that it is, The Empty told Cas that it won't take Cas until he experiences true happiness."

He paused, and, again, from the look on his brother's face, Dean could tell that Sammy could see where the story would go, or how it would end, but he decided to let his big brother tell him the story.

"Did you know what Cas' true happiness was, Sam?" Dean smiled at his little brother, and without waiting for the answer, he continued. "His true happiness was being open of who he was, to embrace and to accept the emotions and feelings that he had. Even though Cas knew that he couldn't have what he wanted, but the thought of being, of saying how he feels is enough for him. It was so pure, Sammy. As expected of an angel like him."

"Dean-"

"He told me," Dean's voice started to broke, "he told me that _I_ changed him. He watched me protecting you, he watched me protecting people that we saved, and it changed how he sees about humanity. I didn't even know that-how that was affected him, Sammy. I just did what I was trained to do, you know? Hunting people, saving things, the family business, but Cas saw _more_ than that. He-"

As he broke down to sobs, Dean could feel Sam tightened his grip on his shoulder. The way Sam didn't say anything as he broke down his walls, the one he had kept up for many years. The one that prevented him to actually have feelings and attachment to someone else, besides his most inner circle. 

"He loved me, Sammy. _All this time_ , he _loved_ me, and all I could do was letting him down. I threw him out of the bunker, I beat him up when he just wanted to stop me from Mark of Cain, I couldn't save him from Lucifer's possession and from Lucifer murdering him. Fuck, I said "yes" to the other universe' Michael, something that he made it his mission for me _not_ to do that many years ago. I told him that he was _dead_ to me when Mom died, Sammy, I said to him that everything that went wrong in everything we did was because of _him_ . How could you recover from receiving _that_ from someone you loved?"

"Dean-"

"How could you still _love_ someone who did, who said _that_ to you? You've got to be crazy to still love that someone."

The bitter laugh that came from his big brother made Sam (finally) hesitated to console him. However, he knew that Dean was on the edge of his emotions. All it took was one _final_ push to have him broke down all of his defences that Dean had put up for many years. The guards that only went down a few fair bit to let some people in—people he trusted besides Sam and Cas.

Dean ran his hands over his spiky hair and took a deep breath before he continued, "I'm scared, Sammy. The future that I saw, I didn't get to say anything to Cas. He was completely gone, and I didn't get to tell him that his love wasn't one-sided. He died without knowing that all this time, I was too scared to let him know that I loved him. And I kept pushing him because I thought it could _never happen_ with him!"

"Dean, hey, hey," Sam finally brought Dean closer and hugged his big brother. This was shocking for him, since he never saw Dean this vulnerable, in front of anyone. There were no defences anymore this time, Dean really let himself go, all because of Cas' _love_. 

As cheesy as it sounded.

After a while, Dean finally pulled himself softly from Sammy and got his head in his hands again. "I'm sorry, Sammy."

"Whatever for?"

"Everything."

The little brother sighed and patted his big brother's shoulder, "Dean, we still have a chance to get Cas back. Look, I found a spell in one of the books that might be able to help us get him back. Then you can tell Cas how you actually feel."

"I'm scared, Sammy."

"Of?"

Dean let out a sigh, "That we couldn't bring him back, and Chuck's final work of us, the one I saw from the watch, would actually be our future."

"Dean," Sam's voice started to get hard, "we are _free_ now. We're free to write _our_ own story, and it can include Cas. It can have you telling him that you love him. I can have Eileen, I can have a life with her. We can do this, Dean!"

Before Dean could answer, there was a familiar sound of whooshing and a flap of wings. 


	5. Misfits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unexpected guests to the bunker made a misfit of a new family for the brothers Winchester.

It was one of the sounds that Dean really longed for, mostly after Castiel fell down to Earth and practically had his wings all broken. He felt hopeful at the sound that just came into the bunker. On the other hand, he couldn’t help but twitch in a slight trauma. It was still evident in his mind how he was entirely deceived by Lucifer, who ruthlessly used Dean’s affection for Cas. He had his hand balled into a fist as he looked up to the sound of footsteps that came closer to his room, followed by a familiar face.

“Hello!”

Jack. 

With _Rowena_ on his side? 

“Hello, boys,” Rowena greeted them cheerfully. She looked fabulous as always in her Victorian gothic black and blood-red dress, and her hair was let down loosely in perfect curls. Hell had probably given her positive effects that particularly suits her appearance and beauty. “Why are you both on the floor?”

Dean smiled weakly to Rowena before he got up to his feet, “Nothing. We were just ... assessing the situation. So, hey, how’re y’all doing?” He walked closer to the Queen of Hell to provide her with a warm hug. Dean didn’t even realise that he actually _missed_ Rowena’s antics around him.

“Ooh, we hug now apparently,” Rowena chuckled and returned the embrace. “Well, Jack suddenly popped down in Hell and asked me if I want to join him visiting you boys. So, it was Charles after all?”

“Yeah, can you believe it? That sonuvabitch even killed Jack once, and tried to kill him again later,” Dean turned to Jack, who was smiling up to him and ready to wrapped Dean in a hug. “Hey, how’re ya, kid? Did you do a good job in Heaven?”

Jack smiled at the question, “Well, I tried to help. I think having Amara inside of me kind of help me get a grip about what should be working in Heaven, and what’s not. One of them is angels, so I helped around to create angels first, to make the orders in Heaven returned as before, then I made a little tweak here and there. The angels can be so … uptight.”

“Your wee boy dropped by all the way down under to ask for my advice in managing Heaven, can you believe that?” Rowena explained after she finished hugging a tree log that was Sam Winchester. “I swear, Samuel, it feels like you still keep growing at this age.”

Dean blinked and stared at Jack before he let out a laughter. “Are you really? So, Heaven and Hell are some sorts of working together now?”

Rowena shrugged, “We shared custody of the souls, so might as well.”

“Well, I don’t see why not to the idea,” Sam then sat on Dean’s bed and looked to Jack, “The Almighty.”

“No, I’m still Jack,” the young boy pouted at the formality, earning a burst of laughter from the three adults in the room. “Well, we came bearing thank you gifts for you two, for saving the Earth, again. I did a quick check on Chuck; apparently a local helped him from the lake, and now he lived in a shelter.”

“Well, that served him right,” Dean said bitterly, “he was completely stripped off of his powers, right?”

“Yeah. The spell worked divinely.”

“Good. So, what sort of gift that you guys bear?”

That was Rowena’s cue to showed the _two_ bottles of whisky in her hands, that popped out of nowhere. She handed one to Dean, who beamed at the bottle, and quickly placed a peck on Rowena’s head as a thank you. As the older Winchester still admired the whisky bottle in his hand, Rowena grabbed Sam’s arm. She practically pulled him out from Dean’s room to the hallway, “Lead the way, Samuel.”

The small group then left Dean’s room and headed to the war table. The one place in the bunker that can be considered as the “living room”, where everything happened. There and the library. Sam told the guests to make themselves at home while he went to the kitchen to get some wine glasses. Dean started with small talks with Rowena and Jack while waiting for Sam to return.

As they sat on the war table, that sometimes also worked as the dining table, Dean couldn’t help but feel some warmth in his chest when he saw people that gathered around him. His brother, the son that he helped raised and took care of, also the mother of his former frienemy that he knew he could trust her with almost anything that happened in his life. 

They might not be what people said an ideal bunch, but Dean wouldn’t mind calling these people his family.

What’s a family without misfits of the members, right?

Still, someone was missing for him here in the bunker. Actually, two, he’d love to have Eileen joining them. It would be the perfect nuclear family of the bunker for Dean. Also, maybe he could actually adopt a dog for the bunker. It would be a good time for them to have a pet. Although, he had a strong feeling that Castiel would prefer a cat more, which would be an unfortunate case for Dean since he had an allergy towards felines. 

But, maybe … maybe if he could get Cas back, Dean could compromise with having a cat and getting allergy medicine regularly.

“Dean, are you okay?” 

He was too deep in his thought that he didn’t realise that the other people who were on the table with him had set their eyes on him. They started to get concerned since he didn’t make a significant movement or sound for the past few minutes, especially after Rowena who sat next to him asked a question. Dean didn’t even flinch at it.

“Wh-what? Sorry, I wasn’t here.”

“Does this have anything to do with the absence of a certain handsome angel? Where is he? I would love to see him drunk,” she then started to look around the bunker, in the hope that the handsome angel in question would suddenly walk in from one of the hallways of the bunker and greet them.

The air around the war table suddenly changed drastically. It was like a Dementor decided to make a surprise visit to the bunker and absorbed the happiness that was just there not ten minutes ago. It was even obvious to see that both brothers were acting weird and flinchy at the mention of the angel.

“Dean-”

“He’s not here,” Dean answered Rowena’s question before Jack could say anything that would make him feel even more heartbroken. If Rowena had to know Castiel’s fate, then it might be as well Dean who told her what happened, for possessive reasons. “He, uh, The Empty got him. Cas, he, uh, he saved me from Death, from Billie.”

“Oh no,” Rowena reached for Dean’s hand that was playing with the whisky glass. She then rose up to her feet and quickly shuffled to Dean, “Oh, my wee lad, no. I’m so sorry.”

It probably _never_ came across Dean’s mind to put it on his bucket list or any list of possibilities that could happen in his life. But having Rowena - the Mother of Crowley of all people! - to hugged and consoled him over the death of a man he loved? Even one Dean Winchester could never saw that coming. He didn’t even know that Rowena still had that much of maternal side in her, that she decided to unleash to Dean at this very moment.

Dean felt his eyes started to water again at the sweet gesture. Three times. He had cried his heart out _three times_ at the thought of Castiel, in _less_ than six hours! He still couldn’t wrap it in his head how he could miss it all this time, that he was so in love with his best friend? That the hurt he felt every time Cas left him was not of anger that another person left him. It was more of a sad feeling that he had to see Cas left him. He felt rejected by Cas, unwanted. While turned out, at the same time, Cas might also wonder why Dean let him go, why Dean let him died.

“Is there anything that we can do, Dean? I’ve never been to The Empty, but maybe there’s something we can try to help Castiel from The Empty?” 

Dean sniffled and wiped his eyes using the sleeve of his henley again. He then smiled to Rowena, “I honestly don’t know, but before you two came, Sam was looking for a spell that can get us to The Empty. Or probably to call you, Jack, so we can ask for your help to rescue Cas and maybe help us look for Eileen. Sam was anxious about Eileen, he had tried to reach her, but it’s been three days, and it’s still _nada_.”

Jack frowned as he heard Dean’s explanation, although there was something off in his expression. It was more like a disagreement to what he heard than confused. The young millennial then turned to Sam, who sat next to him, “Sam, you took Eileen’s car when you found out she was gone, remember? You also took her stuff, the ones we found when she vanished, including her phone, and put them inside the car trunk.”

 _Two_ sentences. 

That was all it took for Samuel Winchester to have a light-bulb moment on his mind, and his expression brightened in mere seconds at the realisation of the critical information. Then he looked to his big brother swiftly before practically jumped from his chair to give Jack a crushing hug. He then dashed with all of his large limbs to the direction that can only be guessed as the car garage.

Leaving the other three people froze in confusion. 

“Am I getting this right, Samuel has been trying to contact Eileen, while he got her phone _here_ , in the bunker, all this time?” Rowena asked in amusement.

Dean looked up to Rowena with a smile, “It was a tiring few days for us. Give the man a break, will you? I mean, he was quite upset after you were dead, you know?”

This time, it was Rowena who looked down to Dean and smiled, “Did he now? Well, I didn’t expect that from Samuel. He’s such a lamb. Ah, you boys really know how to get this old lady gotten soft for you. Now I could understand why Fergus was such a big fan of you both, especially you, Dean.”

For a quick moment, Dean’s memory rolled to the days where he turned into a demon, thanks to the Mark of Cain, and went somewhat eloping with Crowley for a brief sort-of summer fling. “Yeah, Crowley was fun. Did you get to find him at all?”

“No. I think Fergus shielded himself from any power to find him, even from my magic,” Rowena shrugged lightly, “Well, maybe if he wanted to, he’d find me.”

Dean was about to laugh at Rowena’s comment but had to stop abruptly when Jack cut in with a piece of brand new information. Something that could lead him to have the same reaction as his brother.

“Dean, Cas is not in The Empty anymore. I saved him.”

“ _What?_ ”

“I, uh, I wanted to surprise you,” Jack said innocently with a proud smile. His trademark proud smile, the one that could make none of the brothers Winchester would dare to say anything that could wipe it away. “I saved Cas right after we finished with Chuck because I needed his help on something. But, he should be done now.”

“What do you mean with ‘he should be done now’? Would he come here?” 

The Boy-God might be The One who could rewrite the universe in one single snap. However, he still had that particular worry of a son to his father whenever he had to face an upset Dean Winchester. Jack blinked in concern before he answered Dean, “I-I assumed he would. I told Cas that he should come here to the bunker once he finished. You’d be happy to see him again. You and Sam.”

_You’d be happy to see him again._

Dean realised that that probably wasn’t in Castiel’s plan, after what happened when they last met, he would understand if Cas hesitated to see him again. It might be the time now for Dean to be the one who made a move for Cas.

“Jack, I need to get to Cas. Can you tell me where he is?” Dean asked softly to his adoptive-son-turned-God. 

“You don’t want the surprise?”

The innocent reply brought laughter from the older hunter, “I think I should be the one who’s doing this for him. But, thank you, Jack.”

As if in a sitcom, right after Dean said that his phone rang. There was a tangible silence for a few seconds for the few rings that follow. Both Rowena and Jack turned their attention directly to Dean, and that was his cue to take the gadget out from his jeans pocket and read the caller name on the screen. 

Castiel.

Dean looked up to Jack in one snap movement. He didn’t dare to have hope with the call. He couldn’t bear to have another fake phone call that said it was Cas, but turned out it was a certain archangel that he would love to stab with an archangel blade. Again.

“Answer it, Dean,” Jack said with a smile.

But now that it was Jack who told him to, maybe, _maybe_ he could hope.

“Cas?”

His voice might be a bit higher than he intended to and sounded more like a croak, but he didn’t care.

“Hello, Dean.”


	6. Carry On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finally had his angel back in the bunker.

Dean could feel his eyes sting, and his visions started to blur with tears. “Cas? Is this really you?” he couldn’t help to feel silly for throwing Cas a similar question the second time the angel was brought back from The Empty by Jack.

“Uh, yeah, Jack saved me from The Empty,” came the gravelly voice that Dean missed so much, “I, uh, I’m outside. Could you get me in?”

Dean didn’t reply; instead, he jumped up from the chair and ran up the bunker stairs, two steps at a time, just like what he did a few days ago. Only this time with more hope inside his chest. When he reached the top of the stairs, Dean pulled the heavy door open, and there he was.

A familiar face with a familiar confused look, a pair of bright blue eyes that implied as they could stare right into your soul, and the full lips that slightly curved to a tentative smile.

“Hello, Dean.”

He couldn’t contain his laughter and tears of joy when he heard his name rolled from Castiel’s mouth. He missed that silly husky voice. Dean invaded Cas’ personal space in one step and bumped him with a bear hug. He could feel Cas squinted in confusion and, if he could, he might tilt his head as well, but Dean didn’t care. He broke the hug and placed both of his hands tenderly on the sides of Cas’ face.

“Fuck, man! This is really _you_!” he laughed again.

Cas smiled sheepishly at the comment as he replied, “Um, yes, Dean, it’s really me. Jack told me to come here, so here I am.”

“Yeah, he told me,” Dean could feel that that wasn’t the heartfelt reunion that he was expecting from Cas, who died after confessing his _love_ for Dean. He suddenly understood why Cas was even more awkward than usual. “Oh, okay, okay. Come on in, Jack and Rowena are here.”

“Yeah, I know.”

With that answer, Dean knew that this was the real Castiel, the angel who claimed that his “people skills” are “rusty”, and yet after so many years he still struggled with that. But that is what made Castiel … Cas. Dean also couldn’t help to notice the pang of fear inside him, that told him that this Castiel had been reset to the original model. Just like what Naomi did several years ago. The celestial soldier who would follow Heavenly order and had little faith in humanity. 

The one who _wasn’t_ in love with Dean.

He really hoped that it wouldn’t be the case, since it was Jack who resurrected him.

“Hey, look who’s here,” Dean called out to the room, as he led Cas to the war table. 

“Well, there he is, the handsome angel,” Rowena smiled to Cas, who returned it with an equal sheepish smile that he gave to Dean. “It’s so glad to see you again, sweety pie. Here, have a drink,” she handed a glass of whisky to the angel.

“Thank you, Rowena, it’s also a pleasure to see you again,” Cas received the glass from Rowena’s hand and shot it back in one go. “Hello, Jack,” he then gave Jack a fatherly hug.

“Hello, Cas.”

“So, Cas, how was your adventure in The Empty? Oh, do you like the whisky, or do you want a beer instead?” Dean was now leaning his backside on the war table between Rowena and Jack. He smiled as he watched them went all excited in seeing Castiel again. Dean could feel there was a slight flutter of butterflies in his stomach when Cas stopped walking and stood right before him.

“Thank you, Dean, the whisky is fine. Well, my adventure in The Empty was brief, even briefer than my first time. Both were thanks to Jack, who rescued me from there both times. Thank you, Jack.”

Jack replied with a smile and a light wave of a hand, “That was the least I could do for you and Dean after everything that you both been through together. After what we’ve been through together.”

It was his uneasy reaction to Jack’s words that made Dean confident that this Castiel was the very same angel who was taken away from him. The one who confessed his love to Dean seconds before he was killed. This was his Cas, who for some reasons, chose to act all cold to Dean as if they just first met. Dean looked at Cas, who somehow decided that the bunker’s floor, or his shoes, were the most interesting object in the world compared to the three people in the room whom he knew really well.

Fortunately, Rowena might have noticed the odd air between the hunter and his angel, she hopped off from the war table and walked towards Jack. “Well, now that you both had found each other, _again_ , I’m quite sure that you two have things to talk about. In private. Let’s go, Jack.”

“But,” the boy-God looked up to the Queen of Hell with pleading eyes and arms pointing to his two adoptive fathers. Just like a child who was told to go to bed right after his favourite TV show about to start.

“I’ll let you watch Dean’s adult films in the Dean Cave. Come, let these boys fix whatever it is that needs to be fixed.”

“Hey-” Dean was about to protest, but Rowena and Jack had disappeared from the room.

The war room suddenly got so empty and quiet after they were left alone. Funny how the war table seemed so big now that Dean was leaning on it while Cas stood before him, just like when they “broke up” earlier this year. Only this time, they were even closer. 

Dean looked into the twin blue orbs that were Castiel’s eyes, and he could feel the words he had prepared to tell Cas just flew right out from his brain. Leaving him with the bare minimum knowledge of words to survive a conversation. “Cas, I-”

The angel probably knew what Dean wanted to tell, and he might or might not be ready to face his consequences. “You don’t have to say anything, Dean.”

For some reasons Castiel’s reply triggered something in him, and his voice got a bit more stern as he continued, “No, Cas, you don’t get to tell me _that_ this time. I want to say something _now_.”

“O-okay,” the change of tone caught Castiel off guard.

Dean took a deep breath to calm himself before he started, and from the look on Cas’ face, he knew that the angel was as nervous as he was. “Cas, you don’t-you just _don’t_ keep a secret that big and decided to reveal it as your death wish. How long have you kept it? A year? It’s just not fair, not for you and not for everybody else.”

“I-I’m sorry, Dean.”

“Why did you want to die that much? Because I didn’t stop you every time you walked away? Were you really that unhappy when you were with us? Were you _that_ unhappy that death seemed like an easy way out for you?”

“No, Dean, it was-”

“Six times.”

The mention of a number made Castiel tilted his head in confusion, “What?”

“I have watched you die six times, Cas, and that’s more than enough. I don’t mean to add more of that to the list,” the look in Dean’s eyes had now challenged the man before him, and he didn’t intend to let Cas cut him again. “The first one was when Lucifer possessed Sammy, and he blew you up after you Molotov Michael. Then when you swallowed the whole leviathan in Purgatory, I even lost you in Purgatory. Next, it was when the Reaper April killed you as a human, then Lucifer killed you again, and now, The Empty. I couldn’t-I _don’t_ want to have to go through any of that again, Cas. I don’t think I could anymore.”

Castiel looked up to Dean, there was a hint of surprise in his eyes that was mixed with sadness. He was expecting Dean to start talking about the last time he died, that Cas opened up his whole heart to Dean before The Empty claimed him. But turned out, it wasn’t, it was even more painful for him to hear that Dean was having a miserable time after he was gone. 

It was a contemplating moment for Castiel, on one side he was relieved to hear that Dean didn’t mention the confession. Still, on the other hand, it was hard for him to hear about Dean’s suffering. That was caused by him and his deaths. 

“Okay, Dean.” 

“Good,” Dean replied quietly, while he tried to calm himself before actually saying what he wanted to say. “Now, about that confession of yours.”

With that second sentence, the expression in Cas’ face suddenly changed into a state of panic. “I-I’m sorry, I just have to do it, or both of us would die,” not only the look on his face but also his voice.

“Cas, thank you.”

“Oh?”

“You weren’t the only one who had changed from the twelve years we knew each other. You had an effect on me as well, Cas. All the things that you said to me, you were right, I always saw myself just like our enemies saw me. I believed that I was _that_ person, _all_ my life. How in the world you could find all of those good things from me, while I always thought the exact opposite of everything you said, it was-it was-” Dean could feel his voice starting to break, and he couldn’t go on. 

“Dean, you don’t-”

At least he could give Cas a hand sign to stop interrupting him. Dean took a deep breath as he tried to compose himself to continue. It took him a while, but he finally could collect himself before he looked up to Cas again with a smile, although he couldn’t help his tears from falling. “Thank you for loving me all this time, Cas.”

As he said that, Castiel’s face had now turned several shades of red. It was something that Dean didn’t know an angel would and could do, but there Cas was. Dean smiled and walked closer to Cas to cup the angel’s face again, and he could feel his smile got wider when he saw Cas looked even more puzzled with his action. 

“Dean?”

“And I you, Cas.”

He couldn’t let his brain process any more words to say to Castiel, in fear that he would say the wrong thing. Dean placed his forehead on Castiel’s as he closed his eyes in content and absorbed the moment. The moment when he finally could let the man he loved to know how he actually felt.

“Can I kiss you?”

There was hardly any audible response from the angel, but Dean could see that he was nodding. He moved his face tentatively closer to Cas until he could taste the angel’s mouth on him. Dean swore that he almost couldn’t contain himself not to let out a satisfied moan when he finally was able to taste Cas. After all these years he eyed those full pouty lips and wondered how it would feel to kiss him, he finally could today.

Dean slithered his arms around Cas’ shoulders, when he stopped the kiss, to take a look at the angel who was laughing sheepishly. Never in his forty-one year of life, he thought that he would see an angel blushing and giggling as Cas did, and it was a celestial level of cuteness.

“Hey, Cas.”

Castiel scoffed lightly before replying, “Hello, Dean,” and he grabbed Dean’s jacket to pull him closer for more kisses.

“Guys, I-OH MY GOD!”

“SAM!”

Castiel called out the younger Winchester’s name as he jumped back from Dean, and Dean dropped his arms from Cas’ shoulders. “HELLO! I’M HERE!”

Sam was still frozen in shock on his spot from what he saw, “I-I can see that … Castiel? How are you-how are you here?”

“It was Jack!” This time it was Dean who spoke, which was probably a little bit too excited for the situation. It was evident in his voice that he tried to avert Sam’s attention, or memory, from what just happened seconds ago. “Jack had actually saved Cas from The Empty, and now he’s here. Isn’t that great, Sammy?”

“Oh. Oh! Oh my God, did you guys just kiss?”

It was like all of his body heat just rose up to his face when he heard his brother’s question. “Well, we, uh-”

“Fucking _finally!_ ” Sam still couldn’t control his volume, as he stomped forward and pulled Castiel in a bone-crushing hug. “I’m so happy for you guys! Cas, I’m so glad that you’re back, and my stupid brother finally realised that he loved you too! Oh, my suffering days of unresolved sexual tension from you guys finally ended.”

“Hey, wait a minute!”

Sam raised both of his hands, “Nope, I gotta go get Eileen. She agreed to stay here for a few days, to celebrate. Tell Rowena and Jack to stay longer, will ya? Bye, lovebirds!”

Both Dean and Cas were standing still in their position as they watched the human moose run to the bunker stairs, just like Dean did when he found out Cas was on the other side of the door. Next moment they knew, Sam hopped back down the stairs and smiled awkwardly as he turned to the car garage.

After the younger Winchester had disappeared from their views, and hearings, both Dean and Cas were back at staring at each other. 

“So, do you have to return to Heaven after this?” Dean asked as he reached forward to play with Cas’ trench coat belt. “Can you stay here with us? With me?”

The angel smiled as he stepped closer to Dean’s personal space, following the slight tug that he felt from the belt. “Well, my tasks from Jack had finished, and clearly you and Sam would need an extra hand if you guys wanted to hunt again. If that would still be a thing with you two?”

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’ waist lazily, as the angel was now standing between his legs. “That can be arranged, angel,” he replied as he brought Cas’ face closer for another kiss.

Dean smiled as he noticed Cas’ hands starting to paw on his shoulders, pulling his henley shirt, as he lowered his kisses to Cas’ neck. He could feel a sensation that resembled an electric jolt rushed up and down his spine when he heard Cas released an unguarded moan as he caught the angel’s earlobe with his teeth. He could also acknowledge that his jeans started to get tighter the more he slithered his hand under Cas’ suit jacket and pulled the shirt out of his pants to feel Cas’ skin underneath it.

“Do you wanna take this somewhere else?” Dean whispered huskily on Cas’ ear as he ran his fingernails across the low of Cas’ back, earning even more moans from the angel.

“Y-yes, please.”

He should have a bucket list. 

Dean should have a bucket list, and one of the lists would be “To make an Angel of the Lord moan helplessly”.


	7. Endgame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel caught up for lost time. Sort of.

They hardly had their lips and hands off each other when Dean led Cas from the war table, but not to his room.

"Dean, where are we going?" Cas asked when he realised that they were heading the other way from Dean's bedroom, that he was really familiar of.

"You'll see," Dean answered with a smile before he planted another kiss on Cas' nose. It might be a fetish of his, but ever since he started to fantasise about having sex with Cas, he knew where their first time should be. And it _wasn't_ the Purgatory. 

Dean held Cas' hand and led him to the same direction Sam went before, the car garage. He took Cas to the Impala and grinned mischievously as he attacked Cas' neck again with his lovebites, while started to strip Cas off his trench coat and suit jacket.

"Fuck, Cas, you don't know _how long_ I wanted to do this," Dean mumbled as he unbuttoned Cas' shirt and pulled the tie off his neck and over his head. "Come on."

"Dean, do you think we would fit in your car?" Cas asked carefully.

"Yes, in here," Dean opened the backseat door and gestured for Cas to enter. He smiled softly when he saw Cas, with his dishevelled look, carefully climbed inside the car, then he followed and let the door open. 

As soon as Dean was seated next to Cas, Dean wrapped his arm around the angel's shoulder, and kissed him. "I need you, Cas. All this time, I _actually_ need you."

Castiel smiled as he heard that. He knew that Dean Winchester wasn't the person who would easily say the words, he always showed it from his actions, or saying it in his own way. Like what he said now. "I love you too, Dean."

Dean Winchester might have many, _many_ sexual experiences with women _and_ men. Still, none of them would prepare him for an angel of the Lord. For Castiel. Right when he opened Cas' shirt to reveal the tan skin underneath, and the muscles that were just perfect, not too built and not too soft, Dean knew that this was going to be a whole new experience for him.

He loved worshipping Cas' body. To run his hands and lips all across his body, to see Cas released sounds that would have him cast out from Heaven, again. All because of his doing, that brought absolute confidence in Dean that he could bring Cas to his climax. 

Dean felt the soft hairs on the back of his neck were raising in goosebumps when he heard Cas called his name wantonly, as he ran his tongue on Cas' stomach while working on his suit pants. When Dean pulled the fabric off Castiel's legs, he planted several kisses and bites on Cas' thighs. Then he smiled when Cas got up to crushed his lips on Dean's and kissed him passionately. 

"Cas, I need you to let me know if I did something that you don't like, okay? I don't wanna hurt you, angel."

"Okay. Do you need a safe word?" Cas asked innocently.

Dean couldn't help to smile at the question, "If you feel like you need one."

Cas nodded as the answer, "Novak. My safe word is Novak."

"Okay," Dean kissed Cas chastely, "mine would be Tolstoy. I have to prepare you now, Cas. Please relax, okay?" once again Dean was replied with a silent nod from Castiel. Then he stretched his arm to the glove compartment to get a pack of a condom and a tube of lube.

Dean took off his clothes before he pulled off Castiel's boxer. Then he ran his hands on Cas' thighs to calm him down. Although, on the next second, Dean needed to take a deep breath to calm himself down, at the sight of Castiel's cock in front of him. He knew that Cas never had the need to compensate for anything, but he didn't expect him to _really_ didn't need to have to compensate for anything.

Good thing he chose Jimmy Novak for a vessel then (may Jack rests his soul).

He couldn't help himself, Dean quickly sheathed Cas' cock with his mouth, while his hands were teasing the other man's nipples. He hummed in amusement while bobbing his head on Cas' shaft when he felt Cas thrashed underneath him because of the works of his mouth and fingers. Dean released Cas' cock in an agonising flow, and once he had Cas entirely out of his mouth, Dean ran his tongue all along the underside of the shaft. Just so he could make Cas released another filthy moan.

Satisfied with what his blowjob did to the man underneath him, Dean moved his mouth lower and started to rim Cas, to prepare him for what would come next. Being an angel, Castiel didn't need much of a preparation. Dean was quite sure, from Cas' moans and pleas, that he was ready for Dean the moment the hunter inserted his second finger into him. 

Dean positioned Cas' legs on Baby's back and front seats so he could position himself between Cas' legs. He ripped the condom pack open and put it on on him. He moved forward to kissed Cas' lips for a few moments before whispering softly to the angel, "Cas, I need you to relax, okay? And tell me if it hurts."

"Okay, Dean," Cas placed his hands on each side of Dean's head and brought the older Winchester's forehead to meet his.

Dean showered Castiel's face with soft kisses to relaxed the angel, as he guided his shaft into Cas' entrance. Apparently, it didn't work at first, because Cas seemed like he was too nervous with his first sexual experience with Dean. "Cas, I need you to relax, angel. I can't get in if you didn't. I'm not gonna hurt you, baby."

Castiel nodded at Dean's soothing words, then on the next moment - as he planted a kiss on Dean's lips - he was more relaxed and welcoming to Dean to enter. He hissed at Dean's size and was quite grateful that Dean stopped any movement from his side so Cas could adjust himself with Dean's cock being inside him. When he knew that he was ready, Cas opened his eyes to meet Dean's and said in his gruff voice, "Dean, move, _please_."

"As you wish."

Dean started slowly to have Castiel accustomed with the movement and the feelings inside him. He couldn't help to admire Cas' expression underneath him. Fuck, Castiel was beautiful, and Dean couldn't stop kissing him. _Everywhere_. His face, his lips, his neck, Dean was sure he could spend hours just admiring and worshipping Cas.

"More, Dean. _More._ "

Right when Cas said that, Dean felt the angel wrapped his waist with his legs, pushing Dean closer and deeper to him. He took it as his cue to move faster on Cas, and at the same time, Dean moved his hand between his stomach and Cas' and gripped on Cas' penis.

The sharp and lewd groan that Cas released when Dean's hand touched his dick was utterly sinful, it almost made Dean believed that he could come just from that sound. He kissed Cas' chest and nibble on his nipple softly as he moved his hip faster into Cas, and had his thumb rubbing the head of Cas' penis.

It was too much sensation for the angel, just a few moments after that Castiel threw his arms around Dean's shoulders and brought his face to meet his own and gave him another kiss, before he said brokenly, "Dean, Dean … I'm-I'm-ah, I'm-"

"Come for me, Castiel."

He didn't need to be told twice. Right after Dean called his full name, Cas moaned Dean's name as he spurted his come into Dean's hand in an erratic movement. That was the sign for Dean to moved faster and chased his own orgasm to follow Cas. 

It didn't take long for Dean to reached his own climax, and he released it into the condom while still having his dick inside Cas. "Oh fuck," he groaned and placed his head on Cas' chest while he caught his breath.

Both men were still for a few moments, enjoying the comfortable silence and pleasure between them until Dean felt that he had gone soft and he could pull himself out from Cas. "Oh, right," he looked to his hand that was covered in Castiel's cum. "I think I had wet wipes inside the compartment."

"Dean," Cas caught Dean's shoulder to stopped him from moving, "allow me."

Just like the old times, Cas placed his hand above Dean's palm and came a yellow-ish light form his hand, then Dean's hand was completely clean. Only this time it wasn't from blood. Apparently, not only his hand, his penis had also free of condom now, and it was all clean.

Dean smiled at the divine miracle that happened before his eyes. No matter how many times he saw it, seeing Cas doing that always brought warmth to his chest. "Thanks, Cas. How are you feeling?"

Cas smiled widely at the question, then he got up to sit and faced Dean. "Happy," he replied shortly, "and this time, I know I _won't_ be taken away for being happy."

It was an answer that made both of them felt content. At least for now, everything would be well between them. They had opened up about their feelings for each other, a little bit too late, but it was worth the wait. With Sam and Eileen joining their life in the bunker, they would be a family again. 

"Cas," Dean called his angel as he held his hand, "please know that you can tell me anything and everything from now on. I don't want you to keep anything from me, especially something as important as making a deal. And not for more than a week. I could give you a week to keep something, considering you might need time to process how to tell Sam or me, but not longer than that."

Castiel smiled at that, "I understand, Dean, and I expect you to do the same to me. Also, please refrain from killing yourself. I mean, no more locking yourself in a Ma'lak Box and asking Sam and me to throw you to the Pacific Ocean."

Dean laughed at Cas' ultimatum, "Yeah. I have a feeling that I won't need to do that again in the future. Also, I have a story about Ma'lak Box that I want to tell you later. So, deal? No secrets, no self demising whatsoever?"

"Deal. We'll talk more about do's and don'ts later. You know, making things up as we go," Cas grinned cheekily at the second sentence.

"Oh, fuck, I love you so much, Cas."

Both men laughed at that before they did what they were so used to do, eye-fuck, only this time it was more like eye-tender-love-making, that followed with a soft kiss before they lounged inside Baby. Cas laid down on top of Dean, and the hunter kissed the head that full of ruffled dark hair every once in a while.

They talked about the moments that were missing throughout the twelve years of them knowing each other, they laughed about the stupidity that happened between them. They also thought that they should give Sam an apology present for giving them a hard time with their bickering.

"How long have we been here?" Cas suddenly asked. "Do you think Rowena and Jack would notice that we've gone long enough?"

_Yes._

Suddenly came the Scottish-accented voice around the car.

"Oh, hi, Rowena, how's the Dean Cave?" Dean chuckled, but it only lasted a few moments before he realised something. "How much did you hear from us?"

_Enough to know that you boys had fixed everything._

"Hey!"

_Anyway, Samuel should be here any moment, Jack had agreed to zap him and Eileen to the bunker. Do you think we should order food or anything?_

"Yep, you're right. Cas and I will go out and buy pizza or something," Dean tapped Cas' shoulder to sign him to get up, so they can start getting dressed. "Do you want anything, Rowena?"

_Rotisserie chicken with mashed potato and salad, thank you. Jack said he would like pepperoni pizza._

Dean rolled his eyes as he wore his henley, "Fine. Be back in an hour or so." He still sat on the car seat, while watching Cas putting on his suit jacket. It probably a reversed version of stripping, but it gave Dean the same effect nonetheless. "You know, Cas, you can wear something else other than that suit and trench coat when you're in the bunker."

Cas smiled while putting on the tan trench coat, "Thank you, Dean. Maybe later when we're about going to bed?"

That was an answer that made Dean's heart drummed faster, "Cool. Okay, let's go buy dinner for everyone, Cas."

When Dean got up from his seat and closed the back door, Cas caught his henley shirt and pressed himself on Dean, then on the next moment he sealed his lips into the hunter's for another kiss. When they parted, Castiel smiled to his favourite human and said softly, "I love you, Dean Winchester."

"I love you too, Castiel."

Dean opened the garage door before he got inside Baby, followed by Cas. When he turned the engine on, the radio blasted the song by Belinda Carlisle, _Heaven Is A Place On Earth_.

"Huh. Is this your doing, Cas?" Dean turned to his boyfriend, who smiled innocently and shrugged. "Suspicious."

Even so, Dean let the song played as they drive out from the garage to find the nearest restaurant to buy dinner for their family. He couldn't stop smiling throughout the drive, while holding Cas' hand brought it to his lips every once in a while.

This time, he knew that the future that waited for him, and everyone in the bunker later, would be their own. They would write their own destiny, not Chuck.


End file.
